WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
