from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
God, I missed his penis.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
