at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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