dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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