woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
