32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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