Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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