I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
