I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
