dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
