Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
