I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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