just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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