i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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