If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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