google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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