I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
