i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
