Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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