Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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