Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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