still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Two words: blizzard sex
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
