Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
