The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
