Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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