I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
