The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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