Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
