Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
