distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
