there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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