thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
