She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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