I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
