what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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