You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
