the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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