do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
