dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
