He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
