so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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