I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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