My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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