this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
