margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
