it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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