If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize