Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
