didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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