I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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