just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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