I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize