Can i not drive my cunt home
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
