guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
