we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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