The maid of honor just puked.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
