I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
