You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
