Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
