ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Enjoy the penises
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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