I skipped work to stalk him.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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