East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
