I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
