My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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