She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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