come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
