How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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