Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dear god my vagina.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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