so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ruined the universe
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
