If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
