I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize