She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
