I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
